The Dementor

We are all spiritual beings, manifestations. Our outlook presence is not only present, our energies are always there. You are probably asking why I am talking about energies? Is this going to be a discussion on religion, spirituality, wizardry (note the Harry Potter magical creature)? No it is going to be more focused on feelings, how it affects us – negative energies.


I am fan of the Harry Potter, the books and movies. One such creature that appeared in the books was the dementor. They were described as follows:


“….they glory in decay and despair, they drain peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around them… Get too near a Dementor and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you”


I once knew a man who liked to drain all the positivity around him, and this had started once he appeared at the scene. You would be happy, having a positive outlook and he will soon turn this down to a low, miserable pitch. Emotions after all can be “contagious”. (Please read “Genie in the Bottle”).  Who are these people who bring negative energy with them?


Have you met the following characters? You are in a meeting during in the month of July, and one of the attendees complains about how it is looking grey and damp outside – for the summer – making the rest of the team feel miserable.  A couple are celebrating their recent engagement and your partner whispers to you, “I’ll give that no more than five years. She will get bored, fleece him for all his money then get with a new partner.” How about you feeling that you are not reaching full potential in your current job role, wanting to be challenged – go out of your comfort zone – you turn to your partner for career suggestions. They respond with the following suggestions: a customer service representative and becoming their personal assistant, as you were very well organised. This making you feel more disheartened and disillusioned than before. With the last scenario you would think that person should seriously consider “dumping” their partner. Why surround yourself with negative people like that?


But this is life, you will meet all sorts of characters: Mr Positive, Miss Outgoing, Miss Pessimistic, Mr Optimist, and Mr Negative – to maintain equilibrium! Is there a way to avoid the negative person? The answer is a yes and no.  You may choose simply not be around that negative person – physically. There may be instances like that man in the meeting complaining about the rain on what was meant to be a summer’s day.  Do you push him and his negativity out of the boardroom window? You could ignore them and smile, think to yourself that this is going to be a bright day, and before you know it your mood shifts and see all the possibilities and potential. Maybe you will see the rainbows. Is there anything wrong with being Pollyanna?

The Help

My friends sometimes describe me as Miss Busy, since I like to keep myself occupied with one project or another.  If I had coined a term, one of them would be, “busy is good”.  Let’s say that I can sometimes have a few projects running simultaneously with each other. This is probably due to me being a portfolio professional, as I once wrote on a bio page.

Diversification is the key to keeping up and staying in this current economic environment. This is what some of these successful companies have been doing for years. We have seen this with the Virgin brand. First came the music, then air transportation, brides.  That’s the business entity, how about the person entity?

Along with the busy life, comes the topic of time-management. How can you balance your time, not neglect one area of your life? Can you have it all? This is where the word help comes into play.

The word help can have negative connotations since some may view it as a sign of weakness. At the other end of the spectrum it can be positive.  I went to one event recently about attracting the opposite sex, and the presenter spoke to the audience about how men found it a “turn-on” the feeling of being “needed”. To others there was a sense of pride of helping others.

Help can take shape in different guises.  If you walk into any book store, or surf online book stores like Amazon, you will find many self-help titles:  “Dummy’s guide to..” ; and “How to Be Selfish (and Other Uncomfortable Advice)” to name a few.

People are always evolving and one way is to continuously learn; look at areas where we need to develop.  “Do I need to work on my confidence?” I could read a book such as “Increase Your Confidence in One Day……” by Olga Levancuka. You may be a  confident person but need that occasional “boost”, as life will get in the way from time to time – throwing a curve ball –  now and then.  For example: I am in a settled job, tomorrow I get called into the manager’s office and my lucrative contract is ended. Do I have enough savings? How long will I manage until the money runs out?

It is not wrong to ask for help. It’s amazing how people like to feel that they are helping. This could be for a variety of reasons, for spiritual fulfilment – receiving back “tenfold” for giving with a good heart.

But don’t forget about helping yourself, as this article began. Getting help when required.  But the first step is the “realisation”. Mr Helpless (will use masculine instead of the usual feminine caricature – equal opportunities!), wants help with a project getting out of hand. Why not firstly, get a second opinion since it is amazing how another viewer may see things differently, come up with a constructive suggestion.