I don’t know about you, but one phrase that I am not too fond of in everyday language is “sick and tired of being sick and tired”. Yes, it can be stating a feeling – perhaps you are feeling tired and needing to recuperate, or it may be used as an effective marketing tool that pops up in literature – an advertiser trying to convince people they need to buy into the product or service.
Who wants to be sick and tired?
Image by Rommel Canlas
Let’s face it, we are going to be alive and here for a shorter period than when we are no longer in this earthy realm. So we will hopefully be getting plenty of rest in the end. This is why one might say that we should jump at opportunities and make the best of our time. To not waste it. Assuming that no-one will invent a way to get time back, the amount we are given is all that we have. Although, in the beauty industry we do see attempts of stretching time in terms of products promising that ageing can be reversed, or even better prevented. But overall we want to spend the days we do have here, feeling energetic and alive, rather than sick and tired of living!
The story – a narrative that you have become used to
Are we really tired? Or is it a phrase we use to emphasis the dislike of a current situation? If the latter is true, why are we not changing it? I have a theory, that we are getting too comfortable with the narrative. Sometimes we start to like repeating that same story we have been telling ourselves and others about the scenario. We may even like being in that same miserable club. For example, “I am skint. Living hand to mouth. As soon as cash comes in, it is out again without me having anything to show for it. So how am I going to balance the bills?” Yes, we are often stuck within a cycle such as this one. Unless we change how we approach something, it will stay the same unless someone or something externally intervenes and can transform it. Question: “Do you believe that you have a fairy Godmother who will just wave a wand to change the situation?” If so, how has this been working out for you? Honestly, this may be a good piece to write about in another article. Watch this space.
What we tell ourselves, the inner dialogue that we may not even realise that we are having, does become our reality. It is the seed we plant sometimes every second of every day without noticing it. I started to understand that I myself had been doing this for longer than I can remember without realising it. I began to see this and became more aware of this pattern, especially when I ventured into self-exploration. You may be familiar with other branches of this, namely self awareness, self development, new age thinking and so forth.So you can change the narrative by starting to explore why you are feeling sick and tired. But before you begin you have to ask yourself that big question,
“Do I want to change this story? Or do I want this to be my life?”
Here is the pill to stop feeling sick and tired:
Image by puhhha
The 10 steps to not wanting to stop feeling tired of being sick and tired:
1. How much do you want to change the current narrative that you are sick and tired of, on a scale between 1-10? Tip: If this is below 8 then do not proceed to the next steps.
2. Identify what it is that you are currently not happy with? After writing up this list, identify the ones where you are sick and tired of the situation. Tip: Take one point at a time and work through this process. Remember to not tackle all different areas at once. Although you may notice patterns or see links between the different areas.
3. Once you have identified the area you want to work on, examine your feelings and thoughts surrounding it. Start jotting down these feelings. Tip: You need to get the narrative behind these. The beliefs and thoughts. It is the beliefs and thoughts that will help you to unlock the root cause. For example, you may be fed up with being broke. Why is it that you believe that you are broke? Are you covering all your expenses and maybe finding that you are not able to invest in your own well-being? This may be not being able to afford to go on holidays or treat yourself. Tip: Here you are identifying certain behaviours and beliefs. Unraveling these will aid you in starting to create a new narrative where you will be able to change from that ‘sick and tired dialogue’
4. Is this belief really true? Tip: In this step you will realise that you have been creating a barrier or blocking yourself from changing the situation. Following from the illustration. “I work just to pay the bills”. This narrative is about to change.
5. Are you ready to write a new narrative? If yes, please continue with the next steps.
6. What do you want your new narrative to be. “I work to also experience joy and other pleasures in my life”.
7. This leads to the question: How have you been supporting yourself emotionally? Have you been taking care of your needs? You may find that you find it easier to look after the needs of the people around you. But as they say on the airplane emergency plan, “please put your own oxygen mask on first, before helping the other person.” So come up with a plan and start creating occasions where you are looking after yourself first.
8. How will you be getting the necessary support? From here these steps will lead to you coming up with solutions; and then choosing to actually use those solutions and take action. And that’s when you need to break it down. Ask the questions that will help you with a solution to changing the narrative from ‘being sick and tired”. First question: “What questions do you need to ask?” Using our example, “How can I get more joy and enjoy more pleasures?” This may not be directly related to money as you first thought. More questions to ask: “Whom do you need to speak to? Who do you want to ask for help in supporting you? How are you going to track your steps?” Remember to take it one step at a time.
9. So what do you want your new narrative to be? Have you set yourself a SMART goal? (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely). Tip: It is good to have a plan, even when after you have done specific actions, you may just need to wait and allow things to unravel.
10. Do not forget to treat yourself as you continue to design the life that you want.
Are you sick of tired of being sick and tired? What are you going to do to cut that feeling out?